The Clash sing “Should I stay or should I go?” and for many of us we can relate to the back and forth that can occur in our thinking when we are faced with a decision to be made.
Why is it so hard to make decisions sometimes?
When we are overwhelmed we may be looking at decision-making from a fear based perspective “what will I lose” rather than from the possibilities that can occur through change.
Often decisions we reach will be of a black and white nature – stay or go – and has elements of fear which may keep thinking we are “safe” from the unknown while keeping us stuck in a current situation.
Within the song by the Clash the lyrics suggest that the “other” should decide if the relationship should continue, another way we often avoid making our own decisions – let others do it for us.
Separating interests from actual issues involved in the decisions is important and can be challenging; what are we holding on to? what are our fears about the decision to be made? Are we unable to make a decision because we think “others” will condemn us? How will our decisions affect the self and others? Is our thinking realistic?
It is helpful to talk to a friend, supportive person or therapist to help unravel our decision-making and look at situations we are facing from a broader perspective.
Self care in the way of breathing, relaxation technique, mindfulness, talking to supportive others and walking in nature can be helpful to quiet our thinking and help us open our mind to possibilities.
Get help if you are unable to make the simplest of decisions – a clear symptom of stress and possible depression and one that should not be ignored.